"It Gets Better"

As you all know, I - like every suburban white person under 45 - was relentlessly targeted by bullies growing up. Which I why I recently felt a lot of empathy for another victim, Exxon.

Try searching for "Exxon" and "windfall." All those results are political headlocks and titty twisters.

People are FURIOUS at Exxon because in the Q1 financial data, they reported a 10.7 billion dollar profit on 114 billion in revenue.

Okay.

I'll do the math. It's a 9.4% profit margin. For anyone remotely involved in business (read: not liberals) that's INSANELY TINY - especially by evil corporation standards.

There's a million dishonest ways to vilify them, though the most ridiculous is:

"profits are up 42%!"

WHO CARES!? That statistic is pure propaganda. Oil and gas sales are ALWAYS seasonal. It's still under 10% markup.

One way I like to unwind is by dominating people on Huffington Post's comment board. I mentioned how narrow Exxons profit margin was, and that - according to a believable estimate from Exxon - they only make 2 cents on every gallon. One guy, named "exflatlander" (wonder what he is now?) responded:

"Right. [that] assessment would have us all wonder who the heck is profiting from the remaining $3.30 a gallon (low estimate). Must be all those Indian gas station owners selling naan instead of pizza inside. : ) "

Doesn't that make you want to smash your head through a wall? This guy thinks gas appears at the station free of charge.

Let's say gas is $3.80. The TAXES average 41 cents. Exxon's profit averages 2 cents of that (gee, who should you be angry at?). The remainder is COST.

This idiot on Huffington Post (which one!?) somehow assumes there's no cost in taking goo from a mile below the surface of the earth and turning it into a liquid that not only makes everything in the world function, but is made available EVERYWHERE.

Of course, bullies aren't always the smartest.

Just wish they's grow up.